How To Listen So Kids Will Talk
You might find the title of this article, “How to Listen, so Kids Will Talk” to sound backwards. After all, isn’t it the other way around? Aren’t you supposed to get your kids to do the listening when you talk? Actually, it’s both. True communication is a two-way street, a dialogue, an interchange. However, when one person is talking (usually the parent) and the other doesn’t get a word in edgewise (generally the child,) then it’s a lecture. When one person talks and the other discounts what is being said, it’s a dead-end. Although all parents want to able to talk with their children, poor communication or no communication is the way of life for many families. Now yelling, nagging, criticizing, ordering, lecturing, etc. don’t count. Those are ways you might talk at your children, not with your children. And it’s the talki clear pores ng with that constitutes true communication. When you think of communication, you generally think about what you say. Words are the things that most people think constitute communication. Messages sent. But communication is so much more than words. Communication is about listening. Really listening. And really taking in what the other person has to say. However, in my work with children, I have found that a basic problem with parent-child communication is that parents don’t even think about how to listen so kids will talk. They are so busy talking, that they forget that kids have important things to say!Ironically, while children really want to be able to talk to their parents, their #1 complaint is, “They don’t listen.” (This is followed closely by: “They don’t have the time,” “They don’t understand” and “They overreact.